New Departments!

For those of you who like the painfully obvious, you’ll love our new department, located in the Humor section of Blurt Shirts. The new department name is…

DUH!

Why “Duh!”? That’s easy. Read what is on the merchandise in the section. The only real comment you’ll be making is, “Well, no duh!” And that’s fine with us.



If you are a musician, and you like the “Duh!” department, you may also like the new “Gig Shirts” department, located in the Music section. Our initial products in this department use the same kind of goofy humor that you found in the Duh! department.



We hope you enjoy the new departments. Thank you for supporting Blurt Shirts and Native Tongue.

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Following In My Footsteps

When I was a young pup, there was nothing like March Madnezz (or whatever I’m allowed to call it without breaking copyright law). I followed Cleveland’s pro sports teams, even though back then, like today, they mostly played like Triple-A level teams. I had scrapbooks for my favorite Cleveland Indians, and my family even invited one of the Cleveland Browns to eat dinner with us (and he accepted). I loved listening to Joe Tait’s play by play on the transistor radio, even though I would get into trouble for staying up too late.

Today, my nine-year old son is following in my footsteps. He listens to every possible sporting event that he can, and he wants to be a baseball ump when he grows up. Not that I wanted to do that, but he is constantly conducting play-by-play scenarios for whatever sport is in season and pertains to the three Cleveland pro sports teams. It seems like something he is really serious about, well, as serious as a nine-year-old can be about a career.

I would have to say that my son’s love for sports – at least, for following them – has surpassed mine. All day last Sunday, he was pestering my wife for the NCAA tournament bracket. My wife dutifully printed it, and he started filling his in on Monday morning before school started. Now, over the past three days, he can’t do anything without checking ESPN’s website for score updates. He knows that the games will not overtake our family activities, but he is keenly aware of everything that is happening.

Given the updates in technology between now and when I was growing up, I’m not surprised to see my son following in my footsteps, but I am surprised to see how versed he is with the technology. It is quite humbling to hear him recite conference records and team standings for the major college conferences. The kid is quite amazing. When it comes to sports, he is my family’s big man on campus.

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My Buddy, Salman Rushdie

Well over a year ago, I made a commitment to read a number of books: St. Augustine’s autobiography, The Art of War (Sun Tzu), Rules for Radicals (Saul Alinsky), The Prince (Machiavelli), Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand), Mein Kampf (Hitler) and The Satanic Verses (Salman Rushdie). Four of those books – the first four – made for relatively quick reading. Atlas Shrugged was not quick, but held my attention and I invested in the characters.  Mein Kampf was painful, both at the literary and the philosophical level.  I felt stupider just for the reading of it.  I was about ready to start reading The Satanic Verses, then I read some online critiques which indicated that an understanding of the Qur’an was a necessity if I wanted to understand the nuances of Rushdie’s book.

Being ignorant in Islam – well, at least ignorant about what was not conveyed by the left and the right in normal American media news outlets – I decided to take the plunge. I went online, researched what I needed to do, then purchased one of the better-critiqued English translations of the Qur’an.  Then, I took a good portion of time to pore over it. At times, it was painful; at other times, enlightening. I learned a lot I had not known before, but had a good bit of my preconceived notions verified, especially about Islam’s thoughts on women (see Sura 4). I learned about the notions of abrogation and taqiyya. (If you don’t know what these are, I would strongly recommend going here and here to learn about taqiyya. Regarding abrogation, here is an interesting take from a Muslim, and then here is Robert Spencer’s take.)

This post is not specifically about the Qur’an, Mohammed, or the whole model of civic government and society set up in the Qur’an and the Sahih Hadith of Bukhari (which, at points, abrogates portions of the Qur’an), but I thought it was necessary to read the Qur’an and a good number of supporting documents as my initiation to The Satanic Verses.

Finally, after about six months of dealing with work, bands, business and family stuff, I finally had time to dive into The Satanic Verses. Okay, I really did not dive into it. I struggled through the first couple chapters, trying to work through what I disliked about Rushdie’s writing style and ultimately invest myself in the main characters. I learned to deal with the writing style – Rushdie says in 100 words what most authors would say in 50, and some would say in 20 – but never did truly invest myself in the characters. Over a shorter period of time than I originally expected, I was able to finish the book. I never ingratiated myself to Rushdie’s method of turning every action into a story of its own, or his post-modern, mostly “I can do without religion” worldview (he sounds like an over-educated contemporary American professor, in my opinion). My purpose for reading the book was not to agree or disagree with Rushdie’s thoughts on politics or religion, or to critique his writing style. It was to answer, to my own satisfaction, one question:

Why, because of this book, do Muslims want to kill Rushdie?

From my reading, it was obvious that Islam is not foreign to Rushdie. His descriptions of Islam society, his parallels of fictional events to the life of Mohammed, and implementation of particular facets of the Qur’an within the story, all show that this isn’t some lily-white, North American author trying to project their understanding of Islam into a post-modern story. The thing is, he treats Islam like practically every other religion. I say “practically every other” because, a week or so after I finished reading the book, I realized he did not invoke Christianity much at all. It was virtually immaterial to him. He left most of his sarcasm, satire and parody for Islam, although he did whack Hinduism and Judaism at times. My impression is that Rushdie is a guy who gets around, jet-setting and observing cultures as though that was his calling, then merely writing stories that reflect what he has observed.

I think that is where Rushdie got into problems with the Mullahs. His story-telling is very matter-of-fact. There is no embellishing of the good, and no whitewashing of the bad as it relates to Islam. The religion is not put in a good light; however, it is not put in a bad light, either. He merely uses a very odd and confusing story to pepper in his observances of Islam society, without regard of whether those observances put the best light on Islam or not. He shows the potential hypocrisy of rigidly religious Muslim males to engage in adultery without concern, and pokes fun The Prophet’s extended family through a story that had me cracking up and saying, “I can’t believe he wrote that”. In other words, he wrote a story that incorporated Islam about the way that I would like to see American writers write about Christianity: matter-of-fact, but from a point of knowledge and experience, not from one of bitterness and spite. The problem for strict Islams is that The Satanic Verses is not necessarily written for Muslims, but for a general audience. And, through his experiences, he brings to light aspects of life under Islam that the tightly wound, tightly controlling Mullahcracy would not like the rest of the world to see.

Ultimately, what I learned from reading this book is what I already knew or expected:

  • Americans know very little about Islam, and are happy about their ignorance.
  • Rushdie weaves very strange tales, and I don’t need to read any of his other books.
  • It does not take very much to offend a fundamentalist Muslim.

Had a similar story been written about Christians – never mind, much worse has already been written – no Christian organization or leader would have been calling for Rushdie’s head.

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Cool Stuff, Jan. 23 Edition

Seems like many folks are done with their self-imposed post-Christmas spending freeze. Maybe some of that has to do with Valentines Day coming around the corner. For whatever reason, people are spending again. Here are some great products available from independent shopkeepers.











Hugs and Kisses Valentine's Day Card card
Hugs and Kisses Valentine’s Day Card by Beezazzler











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Can’t You Read The Signs?

If memory serves me correctly, some online media outlet indicated that 49 of our 50 United States have had snow recently. I work with people that live near Fort Lauderdale; they mentioned that even their temperatures were down to the low 30s some nights last week. That being said, I guess it is only natural that change – er, global warming – is causing our temperatures to decrease.

Then again, I could be wrong. Many of Al Gore’s environmental ponzi schemes are failing. Probably because nature defeats faux science.

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I Can’t Believe It!

It’s over, almost before it began. And I had such high hopes, only to have them dashed again. I know, you think I’m being melodramatic, but you have no idea how hard this is hitting me. My two favorite football teams are finished with the NFL playoffs for this year already. What is a football lover to do?

First would be for me to get over it. The two teams in question are: The Cleveland Browns, who did not make the playoffs anyway, and the New Orleans Saints, who were booted to the curb today by the Seattle Seahawks. That’s the 7-9 Seattle Seahawks, mind you.




What am I going to do now? I really don’t care who wins the thing; if it’s not the Browns, it is anybody’s game. I will watch most of the playoffs, but in an indifferent sort of way. I enjoy the game, but will watch as a detached supporter of the sport – kind of the way I supported the down and up and down and really down Browns this year. At least my team will have an exciting offseason, as Mike Holmgren looks for the perfect head coach. Not that he will find one, but that’s what most of the fans will expect.

Hold onto your hat, Mr. Holmgren, you are in for a bumpy ride.

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Cool Stuff, Jan. 6, 2011 Edition

iPod cases, iPad cases, and other fun stuff from creative shop owners.





















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Cool Stuff, Jan. 2, 2011 Edition

Looking for stuff to buy now that the Christmas shopping season is over? Look no further.





















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Happy New Year

As the year draws to a close, the Blurt Shirts and Native Tongue family would like to wish everyone a happy and prosperous new years.  Here’s hoping that 2011 is everything you hope for, dream of, and are willing to work for.

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If You Haven’t Lived Here

A lot of people make fun of my home town, Cleveland, OH. Granted, some of it is justified. The local and regional politicians – heck, most of Ohio’s politicians – make stupid people look like they belong in Mensa. Then, as I have mentioned before, the professional sports teams tend to have an almost continuous streak of back luck. And finally, we have snow eleven months out of the year. Okay, so it’s really not eleven months, it just feels like that some times.

I moved away from Cleveland for a brief period of time after I graduated from college. When I was ready to move along from where I was relocated at the time, Washington DC, Dayton and Cleveland were all calling my name. When the rubber met the road, after having lengthy conversations with my wife, I decided that it was time to move back home.

So why would I want to do such a crazy thing like that? I was an IT professional, and could probably have obtained for myself a good job anywhere in the U.S. Why not move to where it is warmer? Or to a place where the politicians are trying not to be invasive? (Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t ask that latter question right now.) The answer, or answers, are quite simple.

  • Roots – my immediate family and my wife’s immediate family were here at the time.  Practically all still are.
  • Economics – I am not a rocket scientist. I am not a “success at all costs” businessman, willing to sacrifice life and family just to make it in business.  Cleveland has a decent cost of living (just don’t talk about the tax increases over the past decade).  The houses are affordable and not cookie-cutter.
  • Attractions – I know, many of you just did a double take.  Yes, attractions.  Cleveland has the best Theatre District between NY and Chicago.  We have the West Side Market, which has a solid reputation country-wide.  We have an awesome Air Show, which annually alternates between hosting the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds.  The tall ships come in every summer, and the goings on at the Warehouse District are fantastic.

What all the naysayers don’t realize is that there is plenty to do for entertainment.  From bowling and car shows, to golf and theatre, to local microbrews and live entertainment establishments, Cleveland has a lot going for it, and won’t break your bank.  Some cities may be bigger.  Some may have better reputations.  Some may have less problems.  But, for raising a family, the greater Cleveland area is a pretty good place to be.  Been there, love that!  And I came back to tell about it!

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